Dreams, Dreams, Dreams....

My dreams are so crazy.

Last night I dreamed that I lived in Colorado, and had a beautiful house in a meadowed valley surrounded by beautiful rugged mountains.

In my dream I was looking out the beautiful picture windows right into the wide open jaws of a shark.  And I was taking photos of the sharks mouth, oohing and ahhing over its teeth.

Hmmmm

Interesting.

Horrible, Horrible, Horrible Pregnancy Nightmare

I had a dream.

It was a nightmare.

I dreamed that I was pregnant.

Ready to pop pregnant.

THE HORROR!

I was in a restaurant with people I'm acquainated with thinking well at least I'll have something in common with them now.

And thinking - I can't believe I'm going to be responsible for something for 20 odd years.

And thinking - There goes vacation.

And thinking - At least I didn't get too fat with this baby, I'm 8.5 months and look like I'm 5 months pregnant.

Then waking up and thinking - Thank God it was a dream!

Kids are nice and everything - but I really have zero desire to have one full time.

 

Dream

I had a weird dream this morning that I had 3 dogs and they were represented by symbols. One kinda looked like this:

 

To be honest I don't really remember the other symbols but they were similar maybe more cirular. 

 

So my dogs didn't have the body of a dog in my dream but they were alive and in symbol form.

 

Maybe I heard some Prince before I went to bed last night? 

 

I don't remember much more about the dream, except all three of them (my dog/symbols) were laid out on the bed.  And the symbol/dogs were on flash cards.

 

And yes I did wake up thinking "Wow THAT was weird".  And I remembered it well enough to write about it.

 

Weird.

 

Weird.

 

Weird.

 

At least I didn't dream about a Zombie Apocalypse.

 

Dreamin

I've been having a lot of vivid dreams recently.

I know they are vivid because I wake up thinking OMG that was weird!  I need to remember that so I can blog about it.

Well guess what - the dreams, they may be weird enough for me to say that - but apparently not weird enough to remember.

Cause I do not remember a SINGLE one!

meh what can you do?

This weekend we are going to go see KKKKHHHHHAAAAANNNNN!

"They" say this Star Trek movie isn't about Khan - but I don't care I just love yelling out....


KKHHHHAAAANNNNN!
KKHHHHAAAANNNNN!

You gotta say it twice - because Captain Kirk does...

Later...

Dreaming Again

I had a dream this morning (early). I dreamed that I has poison ivy all over my body. But especially in my right eye, hand, and leg.

When I woke up I was rubbing my eyes. I was really itchy. And I still am - I took the girls for a walk yesterday down by the Bayou. Obviously I'm having some kind of reaction to the grass, the flowers, or the trees out there.

I CANNOT STOP ITCHING!

Now if you're reading this - are you itching?


 

Attention span ZERO!

I cannot concentrate today.

Is it because it's Monday?  Because the weekend was too short?  Because I had LOTS of fun and now I'm sitting at a desk feeling my butt get bigger?

Is it because I have little to no human interaction during the day? 

I am a drone...

Work. Work. Work!

I don't know.

I did have a dream last night.

I was in Dubai, on the beach with two other couples and we decided to go back to our respective hotel rooms.

Boring I know.

Maybe my dream is why I'm so bored today?

Anyway...

We go into the hotel the other two couples go to their rooms and I decide to leave to go back to wherever.

So one of the guys walks me to the elevator - not the one we came up on but a different one.

It was HUGE.  Like your living room stuck on the side of the building. 

And the elevator attendant (yes there was one in a red suit with brass buttons no less) closes the drapes because it was one of those elevators with windows instead of walls.

And he pushed the down button.

AND the elevator WAS REALLY FAST!  Like heart stopping going 150mph fast.

The elevator that was going 150mph DID NOT STOP AT THE GROUND FLOOR!

It kept going down the street and onto the beach.

At which point I was freaking out, 1. because of the elevator ride, and 2. because I needed to be in the lobby of the hotel - not on the beach.

So I tell the elevator operator. 

Then I woke up.

Hm.

I wonder what that could mean? 

Bad Dreams

I had a nightmare yesterday morning...yes I usually dream after my alarm goes off and I hit snooze like 4,000 times.

I dreamed that I was single and unemployed

Which isn't so bad, but then I also dreamed that...

I HAD KIDS!

PLURAL!

Can you say stress!?

I couldn't tell you what sex they were or how old they were - other than they were young enough that I had to do everything for them.  So I guess they must have been like 7 or younger.

AND

On top of being unemployed and responsible for multiple children (I have no idea how many I just know it was more than one),

ARGH...

I lived on the 10th floor of a very small, studio apartment, with the multiple children mind you, and the elevator didn't work so I had to WALK up all 10 flights.

I didn't have money to pay rent, to feed the kids, etc...

What a very stressful dream.

And then there were elephants.

Baby elephants in my dream.

I have NO idea what they were doing in my dream.

Then I woke up.

WTF?  I guess a psychologist would have a field day with that one.

I was just glad to wake up to my life.

My childless, home ownership, gainfully employed, married life.

Weird Dream

Really weird.

I dreamed that my dogs were chewing up the end of my umbrella - not a normal umbrella end oh no...

One that was shaped like and made of the same material as one of those boxing balls.

You remember those right?

Like this but only a lot smaller.

And it was torn and tattered.  Very weird dream but I figure that I dreamed it because I came home to this...

Gracie decided she was bored I guess...and her toys just didn't cut it.

I think this is similar to the kids who prefer to play with boxes instead of the present.  She's got a whole box of toys.  But she wanted to rip up the toilet paper - I guess it was more fun...  You know, interactive.

The culprit up close.  The one in the front.  Not the one that's trying to look interested and innocent.

Here they are chewing on their bully sticks.  In the crate.  Together.  They actually stayed put long enough for me to take a photo.  I didn't put them in there, they sauntered in there themselves.

Who me?! I am sweet...

 I am innocent!

I just want LLLLOVVVVE!

Or a nap.  Gracie is natural born napper and cuddler.

Isn't life Grand!?

ScyFy Serpents

I had a dream - yes another one, and yes I will continue to blog about my dreams.

I know you want to know...

Well I was dreaming this morning -

I was in a field - not sure if it was a playing field or a picnic field.

But it was a field.

And I was with my husband and apparently we just got paid.

YEAH!

Anyway, I wanted to go get some drinks.

So I asked one of my friends if he wanted to go.

He said he didn't think his girlfriend would let him...she was jealous of me.

(WTF?!)

I said what? I didn't say she couldn't come, bring her too.

Go get her and let's go have a drink!

(Clearly I haven't been drinking enough - I haven't had a toddy since Saturday and my body is rebelling subconsciously)


He said, um I don't know - I really don't think she'll allow it.

I said Go Get Her!

Then the scene switched and I was drinking coffee looking out of a picture window from the kitchen.

Of a house.

Not mine.

And there was a kid in the yard - she was two.

Don't ask me who she was or how I knew how old she was.

I have no idea.

Anyway she was near a tree and the serpent/snake, whatever, jumped out and started hissing at her.

Then she started to run, and I started to scream; "STOP RUNNING!  IT WILL ONLY CHASE YOU AND KILL YOU!  STOP!"

She didn't stop and the snake creature bit her.

A lot.

Then my little doggie Katie was in the kitchen with me growling.

At what you ask...

The freakin snake thing in the kitchen.

Looking at me.

Then there were a bunch of them running around in the yard and in the kitchen.

Then Katie started fighting them.

But they were biting me, killed my husband (hey when did he pop into this dream?) and biting Katie.

I realized that we were all going to die.

Then I woke up.

Crappy dream.

Why can't I dream about winning 500 million dollars?

And having to pay no tax on it?!

I'm just sayin...

Dreaming, Dreaming, Dreaming...

I've been having dreams.

A lot of dreams.

Weird dreams.

I dreamed that there was a mountain and a ski slope on the top of my head.

And I was combing my hair.  But it didn't disturb the skiers on the slopes, on top of my head.

Very weird.

And then I dreamed that I was at someone's house.

I didn't know the people who lived there.

But I think I knew one of the guests.

Because it was a party of sorts - like a bbq.

And the woman who lived there showed me to the back yard and then left her kid with me.

THAT was a big mistake.

Because there was a hammock in the back yard.

And I really, really, wanted to lay in it.

So I did.

And while I was blissfully relaxing in the hammock the kid left the back yard.

Then everyone was like, "where is the baby?".

It really wasn't a baby - it was like a 4 or 5 year old.

So everyone is looking for the baby.

Even me - I'm looking for the baby - but kinda pissed.

Pissed that the mother put the child in my care without asking first.

Pissed that I had to get out of the hammock.

Pissed that the little shit left the yard when he/she (the kid was asexual in my dream) knew they weren't suppose to.

The child was found.  I was relieved that I didn't have to look anymore.

In my dream I didn't really give a crap about the kid.

I told the mother to not leave her kid with me ever again because I wasn't going to be responsible.

She said "Don't worry, I wasn't going to".

But she didn't make me leave the house, which in my dream I thought was really weird, but I mentally shrugged my shoulders and wen't outside to talk to my friend that was there.

All the while thinking I can't believe that bitch left her child with me, expecting me to be responsible for it, without asking.

Then I woke up.

Hmmmm.....

Dream a Little Dream...

I had a very freaky dream last night.

My husband and I were driving in a car / van (it switched between the two during the dream).

He was driving.

And we were going down a mountain, I think we were in Switzerland. Or Alaska. It felt like both.

What can I say, it was a dream...

Anyway, we're driving down and in my dream my husband didn't know how to drive in snow and ice, so he was going too fast.

And I told him to pump the breaks to slow down.

He did but it was too late. We were going too fast and we missed the switchback and went flying off the mountain.

Guess what - there wasn't even any snow or ice on the ground, but we slipped on the ice.

Go figure.

So we're flying through the air, I'm about to have a heart attack, and he does something mid-air.

I'm not sure what but it allowed us to land at the very bottom of the mountain without even getting hurt.

But the car/van was totaled.

And we needed to call some lady to come get us.

Then I woke up.

I was so glad that was a dream!

I'm not sure why I had it, maybe because he was playing video games before bed and I was watching?

Radio Flyer

I had a dream the other night - it was very strange...

I dreamed that I was frantically trying to get my husband to the hospital.

Scary huh?

Well guess how I was trying to get him to the hospital...

I was pulling him.

In a little red wagon.

A Radio Flyer.  And as you can see it wasn't one of those new fangled, plastic Radio Flyers.  Nope it was old school, steel.

Mind you my husband is 6"2 and weighs over 200lbs.  But that wasn't all...

There were 4 of his friend in the wagon with him.  All his size or bigger.

And these were dream friends - you know the kind that you know in your dream are friends but you've never seen them outside of an Abercrombie & Fitch magazine.  Or I should say Men's Health, because really, I don't know about you but those "men" (and I use that term loosely) in A&F look like jail bait to me.

Jesus, did I just date myself?!

Anyway my husband and his friends (by the way ALL of them including my husband looked like models in Men's Health) were in the wagon.

And they ALL FIT!

And the wagon was a standard size.

Go dream land!

And I was pulling them easily down the sidewalk (because that's where you play with your Radio Flyer, on the sidewalk not the street) with no problem!

And I can tell you, even when I was in my best shape, there is no way I could pull 5 full grown men over 200lbs.

Down a sidewalk.

In a little red wagon.

While looking for a hospital.

And I was irritated because they were laughing it up while I was pulling them.

Luckily I woke up.

And smacked my husband for being a dream ass.

Not really...

Well maybe a little smack.

He liked it.

Really.

I have A LOT of catching up to do!

I'm not keeping up with the life commentary like I should be.

I'm sucking at it quite frankly right now.

I'm going to work on it and here is my first attempt to catch you up...

===========================================

First I've started my new job - so far so good.  I really like it, but there's this one thing that happened...

I was invited to the 2011 kick off conference and during dinner, before the awards ceremony, I got a little freaked out.

They said Grace before dinner.

Yes I said Grace.

And while the guy was saying Grace, I did the expected.  I clasped my hands and bowed my head, but I had these frantic thoughts rolling through my mind...

Is he serious?  Grace?!

Oh Lord, he is serious....

That guy is really saying Grace...a real Grace...

One that is asking God to help specific people - not just a generic Grace for a good year...

Isn't this illegal?!  Can we be fined for this?  Or sued?

Lord knows someone in this group will most likely complain and sue...

Oh wait - it's a private company - I think they can do this....

Oh, Amen.

The girl next to me, who is also new, cut her eyes my way and asked me if I was religious.

I said not really, then she asked me if this was common in America (she's not from here), I said nope.

And we left it at that.

Interesting.

====================================

Second.

Gracie is going to daycare.

Yep - daycare.  She needed more human interaction with me back at work and the dog walker, well lets just say I don't think Gracie was getting what I was paying for.  I'm not sure they were even coming in to walk her.

So doggie daycare.

So far so good, she seems to like it, and lord knows they adore her.

Everyone seems to adore Gracie - she's such a lovable, klutzy, puppy!

I need to take a new photo of her - she's getting really, really, big.

======================================

Third.

I've been having some really weird dreams.  I'm not really remembering them all but there's one that's burned into my mind...

I was a man, a King.

Blond hair, blue eyes, with one of those pointy beards like back in the middle ages.  And I had two brothers.

Identical.  We were triplets.

One brother knew he was my brother, the other one had been taken at birth (how cheezy right?!) and we were trying to convince him that he was a King too.

We had all been separated at birth and given to different people to raise because the "evil" uncle, minister, whatever, wanted to kill us so he could stay in power.

We (one brother and I) knew who we were but the third had been "lost" and we had just found him.

I guess looking just like the two of us wasn't enough because we were having problems convincing him we were brothers.

Then I showed him the crown that was crusted over with barnacle looking growths that were stone in my dream.  There were really pretty, delicate, blue birds and pearls on the points of the crown.

And for some reason the crown convinced him what we were saying was true.

Oh, and we were immortal.

Cool dream huh?

==================================

I'm trying to remember the other things I wanted to blog about, but of course I've forgotten them.

I'm starting to get back on a regular schedule so I should be back to blogging more often soon.

And exercising (fingers crossed).

And cooking healthier food.

And keeping up with my friends.

And....well you get the idea,

It usually takes me a bit of time to get back into the swing of things when I make an international move.

It's pretty disruptive.

Anyhoo - bear with me there will be more to come!

Bad dreams with babies and Archie Bunker

I had a horrible dream last night.

I dreamed that I was in Archie Bunker's (I know, super weird right?!) New York City penthouse that he was sharing with Tom Selleck (again very weird).

They both had children, infants.  Both were single parents with nanny's.

I was at the house for whatever dream reason and the nannies, Tom and Archie were fliting in and out of the penthouse in a weird dreamy sort of way.

Then all of a sudden I was holding an infant (Archie Bunker's) and I was in the living room holding the baby, reaching for something when Archie like jumped out at me.

It scared me and I almost dropped the baby, but I didn't.

But apparently in my dream the almost drop was enough to give the baby shaken baby syndrome.  And his (I'm pretty sure it was a he) head started swelling and I freaked out because I thought OMG I've killed a baby!

Then I woke up.

And I can't tell you how disturbed I was by the fact that I dream killed a baby.

Who dream kills a baby?!

I mean the baby didn't actually die in my dream but I knew that a swelling head was not good and that the baby was most likely going to die.

Who in the hell dreams of Archie Bunker?!

And why, for the love of God, was this not a Tom Selleck sex dream?!

I kinda know why I dreamed about Tom and Archie and the babies - I was in a retro store last week and I saw a baby doll box.

Yes that is Archie Bunker and yes it's a Archie Bunker grandson baby doll.  He came with diapers and a bottle - I looked in the box because I had never heard of a baby doll for Archie before.

http://www.goantiques.com/scripts/images,id,1502560.html

It's apparently worth 90 USD - I should go buy it because I think it was only 20 USD at the store.

It's a really creepy doll and it creeps me out that not only did someone think this was a good idea to make, but someone actually bought one of these for their kid.

It scares me to think that someone thought - "Hey!  An Archie Bunker doll.  I'm going to buy that for my little girl!".  Because back in the 70's even anatomically correct boy dolls were for girls not boys.

The doll actually had a little baby penis (the doll was naked in the box).  But I can't remember if it had little baby balls or not.  I was too shocked that it had a penis.

Hmmmm......I'll have to look when I go back.

Anyway - I also know why Tom Selleck was in my dream - I just finished watching all of the Jesse Stone movies - which by the way I really like.

What I want to know is why did the baby have to be on it's way to dying in my dream.

I think that's one of the worst dreams I've ever had.

Even worse than the one where Freddy Kruger was after me, had killed everyone in the house and I woke up as the tip of his ax hit the back of my neck - after going through the wall.

Or the one where I was 4 months pregnant, trying to convince my baby daddy that no, I do not want to keep the baby, I want to finish university and I am going to give the baby up for adoption.

The pregnancy one was so real that I patted down my stomach to make sure it really was a dream when I woke up.  Talk about a relief when I patted a flat stomach!

But the relief of not being pregnant doesn't come close to the relief I felt when I realized that it was a dream and I didn't shake a baby to death.  I'd rather be pregnant than shake a baby to death.

Bleh.

Lord, I hope my dreams tonight are much more pleasant.