How in the HELL do you update the Picasa pictures?!

I have a slide show on the right of my blog.  I like the photos.  They are nice.

They are also old.

Not THAT old - but older.  I have some really cool recent ones I'd like to add.  And I cannot for the life of me figure out how.

I cannot even find the stupid album on Picasa.

ARGH!!! I feel like Charlie Brown!

I Work in Crazy Land

I work in a place that rewards crazy.

Two of my co-workers were screaming at each other in the hall this morning.

Apparently this started in front of some vendors they were suppose to be meeting with to finalize a major contract.

Nice -

I'm sure their reps were happy to hear obscenities - mostly the F word - being screamed in our downtown, high rise, offices.

Very professional.

And from what I can see - no one was reprimanded.  Because they are both just bopping around like nothing happened.

Never mind there was a person cowering in my cube to get away from them.

Never mind they actually scared me - I thought they were going to start punching each other - and they had me and the other person blocked in so we couldn't escape.

Never mind that this is the same person a group of us went to HR about a few weeks ago because we think he's crazy.  This same person who I know for a fact a least 2 other people have gone to HR informing them about his crazy ass behavior.  And how do I know about the other two?  Because he (Mr. Crazy himself) told me.

If this project doesn't kick off soon I'm sooo out of here.

Not a fan of crazy.

Nope. Not. At. All.

 

Bad Dreams

I had a nightmare yesterday morning...yes I usually dream after my alarm goes off and I hit snooze like 4,000 times.

I dreamed that I was single and unemployed

Which isn't so bad, but then I also dreamed that...

I HAD KIDS!

PLURAL!

Can you say stress!?

I couldn't tell you what sex they were or how old they were - other than they were young enough that I had to do everything for them.  So I guess they must have been like 7 or younger.

AND

On top of being unemployed and responsible for multiple children (I have no idea how many I just know it was more than one),

ARGH...

I lived on the 10th floor of a very small, studio apartment, with the multiple children mind you, and the elevator didn't work so I had to WALK up all 10 flights.

I didn't have money to pay rent, to feed the kids, etc...

What a very stressful dream.

And then there were elephants.

Baby elephants in my dream.

I have NO idea what they were doing in my dream.

Then I woke up.

WTF?  I guess a psychologist would have a field day with that one.

I was just glad to wake up to my life.

My childless, home ownership, gainfully employed, married life.

Bert and Ernie, Sex, and Sesame Street

I saw an article this morning that was talking about how some guy had started a petition, which about 5,500 people had signed, to say Bert and Ernie are gay and should get married on Sesame Street.

http://www.wmal.com/article.asp?id=2258901&SPID=28718

W.T.F?!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Can't we just leave one thing alone?  Can't children have just one thing that has no underlying meaning other than play nice with one another?

Do we have to bring sex into Sesame Street?!

Can't I have one thing from MY childhood that is still the same, fun loving, sweet thing that is was?

Must you taint everything with sexual meanings, political leanings, and your adult crap?

Can't Bert and Ernie just be? 

Seriously what 4 year old is going to look at them and say; "Mommy, why are Bert and Ernie living in sin?  Shouldn't they be married before they go to bed and have sex?"

No. 

A small child is not going to think that.  What they are thinking - what I was thinking - is wow I want to have a sleep over with my best friend too.

What's the next thing these fools are going to petition to do? 

Add graphic illustrations of sex on Sesame Street? 

You know just so kids know that it's o.k. and all.

If you want Bert and Ernie to have sex, leave it in your own home in your own imagination. 

Leave it out of mine.

Kid's should learn about relationships and sex the same way I did.

Uncomfortable conversations with your parents (one when I was 9 that scared the shit out of me).  And romance novels.

And if you want to explore same sex relationships get the same sex romance novels. 

Actually, the same sex ones are pretty good too - I highly recommend them regardless of your sexual orientation!

They are HOT, HOT, HOT!

Well I'm still here...

The world was suppose to end on Saturday.

At 6:00 local time.

Wherever you were.

The Rapture you know.

So...I had some cookies.

Some Martinis.

And didn't clean my house, because, well...why clean it if the "Rapture" is coming.

I figured I was either going to ascend to Heaven or die when the Earth blew up.

And really in either of those scenarios I was pretty sure I wasn't going to care what my house looked like.

Well guess what?!

It didn't happen.

So I'm here - with a tummy ache (I'm assuming from all of the cookies and alcohol I ingested) getting ready to clean my messy house.

Next weekend my father-in-law is coming to town and we get to spend our Memorial Day, not eating BBQ at my best friend's house, but going to the Indian Temple for a religious ceremony.

It's to celebrate his 70th birthday (which happened last year), so we can't say no.

Because

1.  He's having it here in Houston specifically so my husband and I can (will) go.
2.  It's his 71st birthday.
3.  He's flying all the way from Dubai to have the function.

My brother-in-law is coming too (he's not my favorite person, lazy is an understatement), his wife (really not a fan of hers), and their demon spawn (they never say the word no to the kids so you can just imagine - they are horrible and we can't stand them).

So the house needs to be spotless and doggie mess free, looking good so I can give them the virtual finger.

Here goes nothing....

btw if you are worried about your pets after the Rapture but before the world blows up.  Don't worry! Apparently you can pay a one time ten dollar fee to have a non-christian volunteer (who shall remain nameless due to privacy issues) take care of your animal.

Just Google "After the rapture pet care" you actually have choices.

Now the person who thought of that was a smart person...

I am on a drug and it's called....JUDITH

Well I figure if Charlie can be high on himself I can too.

http://www.jungleapocalypse.com/headline/charlie-sheen-arrested-jailed-in-aspen/

Boy does he look like he's on top of his game or what?

The dumb and famous aren't the only ones who can be idiots.

I can be one too!

I'm going to go to work tomorrow and DEMAND my  salary be tripled.

NO!

Quadrupled!

Aah Hell, they need to pay me ONE MILLION DOLLARS (said in the Dr. Evil accent!).

And guess what?!

I too have "one speed, one gear".

And I "dare you to keep up with me"

NO ONE CAN GO AS SLLLOOOOWWW... AASSS... IIII... CCCAAANNNN... GGGOOOO...!

There is no way you can creep along at my speed!

Ha, Ha, Ha!

And I tell ya, people need to hear MY side of the story!

LISTEN TO ME!!!!

And here's another thing I have in common with Charlie...

I'm TIRED of pretending that I'm not special.

PEONS!  BOW DOWN BEFORE ME!

I read the directions before I go to a party, so you better watch out!

You can see more of his comments here http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20469565,00.html

But my heart and brain are the same as everyone else's - if Charlie's is different HE better watch out!

The Men in Black will come and collect his ass.

Then where will he be?!

I'll tell you where he'll be...

Where he belongs...

In a mental institute.

In a room, with padded walls.

I AM JUDITH AND YOU WILL BOW DOWN TO MY AUTHORITY!

oops...I was channeling Cartman there instead of Charlie.

http://celtic.theoffside.com/celtic/celtic-3-rangers-2-eric-cartman-analysis.html

he he he!

I think Charlie has had a little too much scotch - and I never thought I'd say that!

Get that man some coffee, aka the Blissful Beverage!

ARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!

I can't believe that I did this!

I WASHED MY FRICKEN SHOE WITH MY WHITES!!!!

My comfortable black pumps.

I washed one.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a comfortable 4 inch pump?!

IT IS EXTREMELY DIFFICULT!

And I washed one.

Not only did I wash it...but I washed it with a load of WHITES!

So I have a new, cute, white tank top that now has back marks all over it.

So how in the hell do I get those out?

And how in the world did I wash a pump?

It boggles the mind.