Big Girl Panties...AKA being an Adult

I've said it before - and I'm sure I will say it many, many, many more times the older I get...

Getting old SUCKS!

Use to be I'd just think about losing weight and ooh look 5lbs lost!

Now I have to actually be good girl and change my lifestyle.  Cause it's not just about weight - it's about health.

Exercise more, eat less, eat better.  Stop making excuses. Pull your Big Girl Panties (forever forward known as BGP) up and do the right thing.

My cholesterol is up so I need to eat oatmeal every day, take fish oil, eat almonds, walk more, stop eating ice cream.

I love ice cream.

Especially when it's 100 degrees outside.

So this past weekend was not a stellar BGP weekend.

I had ice cream, and pudding.  I also had fajitas.

But I bought some nice and healthy food for the week and I'm pulling my BGP back up and I am getting back on track.  Even if I mess up 2 days I figure if I'm good 5 days I'll be ahead 3 days.

We shall see.

Anyhoooo I'm watching snakes on a plane again.  I have to say it's pretty funny!

Gotta love those B movies with giganormus, mutant animals.

UGH - I have Barrett's Esophagus

And I don't want it anymore.

My tummy is upset - I have Barrett's and it sucks sometimes.  It could be worse - but I can no longer eat:

1. Raw Veggies - especially lettuce and spinach
2. Citrus. I'm not a big citrus fan so I JUST figured this one out.  I had a grapfruit martini this weekend - it was tart and tastee!  But my tummy is still in pain.
3. Wasabi
4. I can have dairy but I have to go easy on it.

That's all I've figured out so far.

My stomach is KILLIN me people!  KILLIN me.

It's better than it was on Sunday but hopefully not as good as it will be tomorrow.

No, Crazy Doesn't Live Here Anymore!

Well, I got some results back from the Doctor on Friday.

Guess what?!

I have no vitamin D in my system.

The nurse told me that and I was like - How is THAT possible...

Well apparently you get down to a certain level and they consider it so low that it might as well be none.

And having no vitamin D can cause a myriad of problems.

Heart problems
Diabetes
Muscle fatigue (which is what I was feeling in my arms and legs)
Depression
Anxiety

Basically it covers everything I've been freaking out about.

Who knew that being such a freak about wearing sun block could back fire?!

I mean I just spent three years in the desert, and I have like NO VITAMIN D in my system.  You'd think I'd have at least 50% of what I need.

I guess I'm just too effective with regards to keeping the UV and UVB rays away from me.

Anyway the one thing the Vit D doesn't cover is me having a fit about my husband's medical issues.

But it has impeded my ability to handle it well, you know the extra anxiety basically translates into - OMG don't put that garlic bread in you mouth it's going to kill you!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAD A GRANOLA BAR WITH CHOCOLATE IN IT?!  ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME A WIDOW?!  I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE A WIDOW!  I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH TO BE A WIDOW!!! WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO IF YOU'RE GONE????  I WON'T BE ABLE TO FUNCTION!  PUT DOWN THE FUCKING GRANOLA BAR!

Hmmm a little overboard do ya think?

Good thing he loves me so much, he looks at me and goes "Really Judith?, A granola bar is going to kill me?  You need to calm down, I'm not going anywhere".

I guess he's right - it's not like the doctor has put him on lock down in the hospital or something. 

So I'm going in tomorrow to get the down low on what to do next for the Vit D - hopefully just pop some pills.  Maybe she'll give me some to bring me down off the ledge...but then I don't think I'd be as fun...and what would my husband do then?  He's been with crazy town for 10 years - I think he likes me as is.

Anyway I like to do things as natural as I can, when I can.  After all I had a stroke 10 years ago and my stroke was attributed to Vioxx per my neurologist.  So to say that I have a bit of an aversion to taking any drugs is an understatement.
 
So I took a break this weekend from my neurotic application of sunscreen and I went outside without slathering copious amounts of sunscreen on my arms.

Yeah, that's right I only skipped my arms.  My face, neck, shoulders, etc... are just too sensitive to risk with the sunlight.

Lord you'd think I was a vampire!  Look out Bella...Edward is mine! 

Of course I wouldn't have a chance; I'm not an underage girl with the shape of a boy.  I don't think I've ever had the shape of a boy...

he he he!

Tom Selleck and Steven Segal - there is no contest.

I feel like crap and I've run out of movies that are easy to watch when you feel like crap.

I've been watching the Jesse Stone movies, and they represent everything I like in a movie.

1.  Good guy against bad guy and the good guy wins.
2.  Good guy just knocks the bad guy around sometimes just because he needs it.
3.  The bad guys, the really bad ones, are always killed.
4.  Jesse Stone drinks good scotch.
5.  Tom Selleck is a good actor.
6.  Tom Selleck is the quintessential good looking, ruggedly handsome, good guy.
7.  Tom Selleck gets better looking the older he gets.
8.  Tom Selleck.

Anyway now I'm looking for some other movie / TV show to watch on itunes.  Too bad Magnum PI isn't on there yet.

I refuse to purchase any Steven Segal films.  That man doesn't realize that the coat he constantly wears does not hide the fact that he is out of shape and he is way too old to be beating the crap out of guys 1/2 his age.

He needs to work out and then watch Tom.

But of course that won't change the fact that he can't act.

So if anyone out there is reading this and has any suggestions on what to watch when you're laying on the couch like a potato because you feel like shit, please feel free to comment.

I prefer action adventure but the good guys must always win.  I also like comedy.

I don't watch drama.  If I want to cry I'll watch the news.

I need to slow down...

I cannot tell you how good I feel after having my surgery.

Better than I did before - I'm not uncomfortable and no longer have a constant low grade pain which would spike during "that time of the month".

So of course since I feel "better" I think I can go 90 miles an hour.

Take long brisk walks.

Move furniture (i.e. the couch when I drop something and it rolls so far under I can't reach).

Run errands all day, then unpack a bit...

Then I'm exhausted AND now I'm feeling sore again around my incisions.

As a friend reminded me today - I had major organs taken out, I'm healing from the inside out and I need to take it easy.

There is a reason the doctor makes you take six weeks off...

So I think I'm going to try to be intelligent about this and take it easy for the next two days.

Because I want to go to Lights in the Heights and I don't want to be too pooped to enjoy it.