I AM CRAZY TOWN....Shhhhh Don't Tell My Husband

Just in case he hasn't figured it out yet.

I mean we've only been married 8 years, 9 this May, and together 10 years this month.

It's possible he doesn't know yet.

We at least the extent of it.

Anyway - I've gone crazy because the past 7 months have been a roller coaster.

I lost Gabi.

We moved back to the US.

I had surgery.

Started a new job.

Was told that the tests back from surgery had "abnormal pathology".

Had to go to MD Anderson to get it checked out.

Found out everything was O.K.

Then I think life is getting back to normal when about 2 weeks ago....

My husband has a medical scare.

The doctor doesn't seem super concerned, but thinks it's serious, and in the middle of testing to figure out exactly what's going on so they can figure out what to do...

My husband goes out of town on business, with his doctor's permission, but still....

I'm now in freak-out mode.

Since he's been gone I've thought:

I'm having a heart attack...

My legs are going numb...

My arms are numb...alternating sides...

I can't breathe...

I feel sick to my stomach....

And I'm having morbid thoughts like;

What if I die and nobody knows for like, three or more days?! What's going to happen to Gracie and Cranky?!

I mean I'm totally freaking out about the animals being stuck in the house with a dead body and only access to water (the toilets...well at least they wouldn't die of thirst).

How traumatic for them, it was really distressing me.

So I, of course, call my husband - never mind it's like 4am in London.

And I ask him - how long would you wait until you called someone to check on me if you couldn't get ahold of me?

Like a day, two days?

He's like 10am.

I was like oh, O.K.

...So basically you'd only wait 3 hours past the time we usually talk to call someone...that's good.

That makes me feel TONS better.

Then I'm like, OMG!  NO ONE HAS A KEY TO OUR HOUSE!!! HOW ARE THEY GOING TO GET IN TO SAVE ME?!

He's like, yeesss someone does, JR has a key to our house, he lives right down the street he'd be there in like 10 minutes to make sure you're O.K.

And he has medical training - so he can do first aid.

I'm like, oh.  OK.  Good.

Then he's like, what in the hell's got you thinking morbid thoughts like that?

I'm like, I don't know....  But I love and miss you.

So we hang up.

And about 5 minutes later he calls back.

He's like crap you got me thinking morbid thoughts now and I just wanted to tell you I love you and you're going to be fine.

I'm like oh great!  Now I've got you thinking I'm going to die with the animals in the house...

Wonderful.

That was about 3 days ago.

He's not back until Sunday and I'm still freaking out.

So I figured I'd write about it, maybe then I'd stop freaking out so much.

And it helps that Gracie is on my right and Cranky is on my left.

It's kind hard to freak when you're typing and petting your furbabies at the same time.

Thank God for my furbabies.

It's a good thing they don't judge.

Maybe I should have a drink - but that freaks me out too...

Go figure.

I'm going to sleep - now I have heart burn.

I think I've gone straight past Crazy Town and went right into the Looney Bin!