Melancholy

mel·an·chol·y

noun, plural -chol·ies, adjective

noun

1. a gloomy state of mind, especially when habitual or prolonged; depression.

2. sober thoughtfulness; pensiveness.

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3. Archaic .

a. the condition of having too much black bile, considered in ancient and medieval medicine to cause gloominess and depression.

b. black bile.

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adjective

4. affected with, characterized by, or showing melancholy; mournful; depressed: a melancholy mood.

5. causing melancholy or sadness; saddening: a melancholy occasion.

6. soberly thoughtful; pensive.

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I feel Melancholy.

I'm not depressed, but I am in a gloomy state of mind.

I do NOT have black bile.

Whatever that is.

Do you ever doubt yourself?

Your likableness? (is that even a word?)

Wonder why people like you?

Just feel like lying in bed - with some beautiful, very large, in shape man, cuddling me, rubbing my back and hair - maybe humming (in tune of course) until I feel better?

- hey it's my melancholy and if someone is going to rub my back to lift it I want a big, buff, gentle man to do it.

But I ONLY want him to hum - no talking please.

And no sex. In my Melancholy state I only want comfort.

Back rubbing.

Hair petting.

Silence.

Except the humming - I think it's soothing.

Because you know that my big buff man is going to have a voice that has perfect pitch.

Not like mine - I can't hold a tune with a bucket.

He is my fantasy.

And I already feel better, thinking of him rubbing my back.

I wonder if I'm low on Vitamin D again...

I need to take my vitamins... I'm going to take my vitamins....