I had a horrible dream last night.
I dreamed that I was in Archie Bunker's (I know, super weird right?!) New York City penthouse that he was sharing with Tom Selleck (again very weird).
They both had children, infants. Both were single parents with nanny's.
I was at the house for whatever dream reason and the nannies, Tom and Archie were fliting in and out of the penthouse in a weird dreamy sort of way.
Then all of a sudden I was holding an infant (Archie Bunker's) and I was in the living room holding the baby, reaching for something when Archie like jumped out at me.
It scared me and I almost dropped the baby, but I didn't.
But apparently in my dream the almost drop was enough to give the baby shaken baby syndrome. And his (I'm pretty sure it was a he) head started swelling and I freaked out because I thought OMG I've killed a baby!
Then I woke up.
And I can't tell you how disturbed I was by the fact that I dream killed a baby.
Who dream kills a baby?!
I mean the baby didn't actually die in my dream but I knew that a swelling head was not good and that the baby was most likely going to die.
Who in the hell dreams of Archie Bunker?!
And why, for the love of God, was this not a Tom Selleck sex dream?!
I kinda know why I dreamed about Tom and Archie and the babies - I was in a retro store last week and I saw a baby doll box.
Yes that is Archie Bunker and yes it's a Archie Bunker grandson baby doll. He came with diapers and a bottle - I looked in the box because I had never heard of a baby doll for Archie before.
It's apparently worth 90 USD - I should go buy it because I think it was only 20 USD at the store.
It's a really creepy doll and it creeps me out that not only did someone think this was a good idea to make, but someone actually bought one of these for their kid.
It scares me to think that someone thought - "Hey! An Archie Bunker doll. I'm going to buy that for my little girl!". Because back in the 70's even anatomically correct boy dolls were for girls not boys.
The doll actually had a little baby penis (the doll was naked in the box). But I can't remember if it had little baby balls or not. I was too shocked that it had a penis.
Hmmmm......I'll have to look when I go back.
Anyway - I also know why Tom Selleck was in my dream - I just finished watching all of the Jesse Stone movies - which by the way I really like.
What I want to know is why did the baby have to be on it's way to dying in my dream.
I think that's one of the worst dreams I've ever had.
Even worse than the one where Freddy Kruger was after me, had killed everyone in the house and I woke up as the tip of his ax hit the back of my neck - after going through the wall.
Or the one where I was 4 months pregnant, trying to convince my baby daddy that no, I do not want to keep the baby, I want to finish university and I am going to give the baby up for adoption.
The pregnancy one was so real that I patted down my stomach to make sure it really was a dream when I woke up. Talk about a relief when I patted a flat stomach!
But the relief of not being pregnant doesn't come close to the relief I felt when I realized that it was a dream and I didn't shake a baby to death. I'd rather be pregnant than shake a baby to death.
Lord, I hope my dreams tonight are much more pleasant.